Sticks and Stones

Yesterday was a good day for stones

But not so good for bones

 

 

Still standing despite the sticks (and the ticks).

Hmmm.
So you found me.
Just by logging into my site, I have found YOU.

Hope you have friendly intentions.

San Simeon, Bored Meeting 8/8/14:

Car Shopping, Homesteading, Poo, and ESP

 

The high point of the District Board meeting occurred at 6:04:

The Pledge of Allegiance.

 After that things pretty much went down hill.
 

 With some notable exceptions:

Our sheriff’s liaison delivered a fascinating report about petty thefts, suspicious characters and sad assaults on grandmothers.

 But he also introduced the concept of “car shopping”.  Officers have interviewed various malefactors in our community and learned that our local bad actors like to cruise through neighborhoods and “try” car door handles. If they’re locked, move on. If open, however, it’s time for “CAR SHOPPING”: selecting various items like purses and keys, the discounted items of the day. These “purchases” lead to other crimes such as identity theft, changing locks, and loss of a stale candy bar.

He also mentioned something I will refer to as “homesteading”: the tendency of our transient population to identify empty residential units, timeshares, vacation rentals and decide set up camp there for several days. Again, locking all doors was recommended as the first line defense.

Another highpoint in the Board meeting was the excellent report by our district operations staff member who assured us that sewer, water and pothole abatement were all proceeding quite well. Good report, quick and to the point.

Then things really started to go down the toilet…

One resident was concerned about the high levels of sewer aroma between the hours of 3 and 7 am.

Wow, I thought, if it awakes her wake up during hours that I would normally be stone cold asleep, things must’ve gotten mustier.

In response, it was pointed out that the opening of Highway 1 also means we’ve entered a peak “poo” period. A former district employee also mentioned that Hearst Castle saves their shipments so that we receive an 8 am“surge”.  Sure glad I learned that.

 Then I glanced over a district disbursement for work done along Avonne. An avenue I frequently walk. Apparently there was a perceived emergency and the district was billed $11,000 plus bill for some leaky and corroded pipes. Thank God my plumber works at a cheaper rate.

But that’s what you get when you call on a Sunday.

 But wait, it got better with item #7:

Open public discussion was allowed on item #8, a CLOSED door Board meeting that would not take place until after the conclusion of this meeting.

 I was astounded at the board’s faith in our psychic awareness!

Not only could we foresee any issue discussed behind the doors of a closed meeting (precognition), but we also possessed sufficient paranormal acumen to analyze the ongoing events of this remote session (clairvoyance). I tried to question the sanity of this agenda item, but the lawyer explained away my mystification.

Still, I’m mystified.

But then I’ve really never understood why local politicians make critical decisions behind closed doors. Perhaps our local representatives imagine themselves members of a secret club. I enjoyed doing that when I was a kid.

My memory of all these events is sketchy and incomplete. I suspect psychic MIB (Men In Black) have erased whole parts of the proceedings.

But in a week or two, you should be able to visit our district office and borrow the video of this meeting. Decide for yourself how much of my narrative is verifiable—or mere hallucination.

 The truth is out there…