Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Sardine Genocide

Think of it. One million sardines dead in Redondo. I like the sound of those last three words: Dead in Redondo" (good idea for a mystery title).

Kind of like the lyrics of the old Steve Martin song where he owns a : "Condo in Redondo"?

Anyway I was eating my "Kipper-Snacked Fillet of Fish" (refined, gourmet sardines) and started to think about all those dead little fishies down south. What a waste! And the newspaper article I read this morning didn't even mention of a memorial service. Will no one stand up for the sardines?

I expect every man, woman, and child to observe a moment of silence tomorrow in memory of the passing of these savory creatures.

But there's more to this fishtastrophe. I read further into the article and was horrified to learn that they were scooping up these poor little fellas and sending their delectable carcasses off to a landfill.

The shame! Every sardine yearns to end up in a proper resting place, the coffin of tin and sauce which I peel back, carefully and out of respect, holding up their revered remainders as I prepare to consecrate them by popping them into my mouth.

And that is why I urge all of my fish-loving friends to speak out in anger, speak out in rage! How could the people of Redondo have made so little effort to block their harbor, provide some warning that a sardine rave could result in oxygen deprived suffocation. A genocide, surely, maybe even a crime: (sar) dine-o-cide

I urge you all to write letters of indignation, stand up against the neglectful harbor masters, and let the big guys know that we are tired of their pollution, whether it's oil, unsafe water, or the proliferation of idiotic thought on social networks.

Remember the 'dines!